real moneymakers

I should update more often….I meant to update every day.  Whoops.  I’d say sorry, but I’m working on cutting back on that word.  But let’s be real:  I go to school.  I do a lot of math problems.  Life just isn’t funny every day.

Anyway, today I am going to share all of my million-dollar ideas with you.  What I mean is……

if I were this guy:

I’d make these ideas real:

Idea #1:  I would really love if there were some sort of self-cleaning milkshake-making apparatus.   Sometimes I make milkshakes at my house in my little hand blender.  (I use vanilla ice cream, hershey’s syrup, a splash of milk, and peanut butter.  and an overripe banana, if I have one).   The number of milkshakes I make per week is directly proportional to the amount of crap I have to do that week…so sometimes, cleaning that little blender is really tiresome.  Solution:  self-cleaning milkshake-making apparatus.

Idea #2:  I would also really like if there were some sort of technological gizmo that would make it possible for stuff to fly back into its proper place with a simple wave of my hand.  As a visual aid, I want you to recall the scene in the 6th Harry Potter movie, where Harry and Dumbledore go to Slughorn’s, and Dumbledore does this grand *swish* of his wand and the whole mess cleans itself up beautifully.   I mean…sometimes the entire field of statistics explodes in my bedroom.  Not cool.  Solution:  magical room organizer hand waver machine.  (also, think of all the good this could do on a global scale, too — cleaning up messes is, in general, a problem that we need a solution to…)

Idea #3:  It would be super great if I could make the wheels on my car turn sideways when I want to parallel park.  No more of this backing-into-parallel-parking-spaces-that-are-2-inches-longer-than-my-car nonsense.  You could just push the button, and your car would levitate a little, and the tires would turn so that, instead of running parallel to the road, they’d be perpendicular to the road, and you could gently hit the gas and slide, very neatly, sideways into the space.  so…got parallel parking problems?  solution:  sideways tires for ordinary cars.  (another solution would be a shrink ray.  this would also really help with the problem of moving — just shrink your furniture!)

sharing time!  if you were doc brown, what would you make?

also, bonus!  a preview of the next post:  old-fashioned things that are still awesome.  (you can brainstorm too! ……….you already are, aren’t you.  isn’t it fun?)


One thought on “real moneymakers

  1. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again; earthquake technology that would cause silos to level themselves. It’d save me about 18 hours of sweaty, blister-inducing labor per summer, and I’d be a much happier man.

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