117. things that should really not be in the kitchen

We have one of those drawers under the oven that we use to store baking sheets and stuff.  Sometimes pans fall behind the drawer into the terrifying abyss that is…under the oven.  Today I noticed that my 8×8 was missing, so I (very very bravely) plunged my hand into the darkness under the oven to retrieve it.  Unfortunately, what my hand found was not metal, but instead a gray, furry something.  ZOMG, DISGUSTING.  I’m all about manning up and handling pests calmly and rationally, but that all goes out the window when one expects an innocent baking pan but instead finds and VERY CONFIDENTLY TOUCHES SOMETHING GRAY AND FURRY UNDER THE OVEN.  I screamed.  (It pains me to admit this).  My roommate screamed too, in my defense.  I dropped the furry thing incredibly quickly.

But…it just stayed where I dropped it.

Don’t worry.  It wasn’t a dead mouse, I promise.  As soon as we became confident that this furry little sucker wasn’t going anywhere, we peered at it a bit more closely and very curiously.  It was still gray and furry, and it definitely had mouse-like qualities…pink felt nose, black-stitched whiskers…

That’s right.  It was a FAKE MOUSE.

WHAT THE HECK.  HOW DID A FAKE MOUSE GET UNDER MY OVEN.  Why have I not found it before?  How long has it been there?  This begs so many questions.

Unfortunately I have no picture, because it went immediately in the trash and I draw the line at posting pictures of trash, but I hope this word picture has conveyed the strangeness of what I found in my kitchen tonight.

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2 thoughts on “117. things that should really not be in the kitchen

  1. That’s what we thought! But we don’t have a cat, and we know the people that lived here before us, and they were here for at least three years and had no cats. Which means this fake mouse has been under there for at least FIVE YEARS.

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